W3D5 - Who's a Diva?

Happy Earth Day!

I was feeling so green today that Grace & I went out and did some gardening. Actually, preparation for gardening. We cleaned up all of the garbage that blew over from the neighbor's house. (No judgement though, maybe they just didn't realize all their crap was in my yard)

I fought off giant worms, weird looking bugs, and a slug-looking thingy.  I've learned gardening gloves make these things (slightly) less scary.  But, OMG, one of the worms was the fat, juicy type, YUCK...but again, who am I to judge?!

I've also been spending a lot of time surfing the internet for green-ish ideas. I will admit that I am not the best recycler, I usually only compost when I have a big pile of food scraps, and I have to be known to preheat my car from time to time.   On the flip side, I do (sometimes) use cloth bags, I refuse plastic bags if I can carry stuff out instead, and I reuse towels at least a few times before they hit the laundry (this is more because I'm too lazy to do laundry...but who are YOU to judge!?)

In my journey to find green, I noticed there were a few ladies on the LYM Facebook page who were talking about Diva Cups and lovin' them.  Hmm, I can be a Diva, and I like cups...must be a new recycleable drinking cup. I wanna see! I wanna see!
Let me google it.....wait, what?! It's a WHAT!?!? OMFG?!?!

Now, I will give you a moment to do the same thing...Google it: 'DIVA CUP'
.........................................................It's ok, I'll wait...................................

OMG.  Right!?  Now, I'm not going to judge anyone who goes this route...BUT...I will flat out say, this is NOT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

Diva Cup, eco friendly container to catch your period.  Sounds wonderful. OMG.
I've heard of these things before, sort of like a diaphram.  It's sounds messy. It sounds like a lot of work. It sounds like something I shall never partake in!

First, what happens if (when!) it spills? How do you get it out without rocking the boat?
Second, how much digging would be required? For people with children...do you remember how far the doctor had to reach (way-up-there) to check your cervix?
Third....UGH...GAG...UGH.

I also notice there are reusable pads.  Ok, seriously people?!?!  Have women not suffered enough?  There's mention of snaps and bands to hold the pad to the "gusset" of your underwear. Oh please, please...talk dirty to me!  LOL...GUSSET?!
Let's just say, a very 1800's porn scene just popped into my head. 

Oh it gets better....these particular eco-friendly pads I found are made of flannel!  (and men complain about women who wear flannel PJs!)
Flannel pressed up against my vajaja is something I only want on a very cold, December night.

There's light, medium, and heavy flow. That's expected.
Then comes plus-sized...do vaginas get fat?  I've been skinny, I've been fat, I've been pregnant twice (one with a 70+lb weight gain) and I do NOT recall my vagina ever growing or shrinking in size. 

You can get butterfly designs on your pads, or apples, or stripes, or even cupcakes.  Does my vagina care what design is there?  My vagina does not judge.
Funny thing is, you can't just get a plain red design.  Wouldn't that make more sense?

Then comes the wash & care instructions....pre-soaking or pre-rinsing recommended.  REALLY?! Never would have figured that out on my own! Forget the hubby helping with laundry every 28 days. Mine won't buy me tampons at the store, you think he's going to pre-treat my pads? And forget about him hanging the laundry out to dry...

Then there's the special soap, and travel cases, and a stain removers (LMAO!).
I just simply can't go on...