Funky Town

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Guess who finally got a new computer!!!! I've been without for so long that my new MINI laptop seems HUGE in comparison to my iPhone.  Withdrawals ovah!

Hmmm, where do I begin? Back this train up to pre-Christmas. Life has been hectic and stressful and crazy.
But in the same breath, not really. Just weird.  And I suppose I've been in a bit of a funk.

Hubby and I have been on a path of ups and downs. In the stress of it all, we decided to bite the bullet and try to sort ourselves out health wise.  Needless to say,  our one little doctor's appointment to get blood work done has now turned us into vitamin popping, kale eating, documentary watching, sleep-obsessed machines.

We both have low vitamin D, I have low iron, he has high triglycerides, and we both have sleep apnea!!  **Convenient that the company who diagnosed us with this is private (ca-ching ca-ching), I'm still a bit skeptical**   It's been weekly appointments for one thing or another.  I may or may not have an ulcer, seriously, waiting for those results right now. If it's not an ulcer, it could be my ovaries, my appendix, or maybe I'm just constipated...says my doctor...can't wait for THAT test.

Anyway, sexy time now has to be planned because NOBODY, really...NOBODY...wants to do it like this...

Yeah...hot.

We are on a 30 day trial to see if the machines make a difference in our lives.  So far, not so much. I'm one week in, and I haven't noticed a change.  Maybe a wee bit more alert in the morning...maybe. We have an unspoken rule...if the mask goes on right away then it's sleepy time.  If the mask stays off, well lock the door!!

I've also pretty much given up TV.  Ok, really I've just moved on to Netflix, but still, I gave up most of my smut TV.  I haven't even seen the new Bachelor!! What?!?! Imagine!

I decided that I wanted to start watching more authentic shows, no crap, just good/decent shows.  Ok, really, with the exception of Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, and Scandal...but those are all educational in a way.  I now fully understand how to smuggle guns, cook meth, and sleep with the President (fingers crossed!!).

The one thing missing in my life is my yoga. I'm sad to say I haven't been going to class at all for months now. I've been to a few random classes, but that's really only cause I miss my FAV teacher Estelle so I have to get my fix from time to time! Otherwise, I'm so overwhelmed with "life" and it sucks because yoga is probably, ok definitely, what I need the most right now.  I'm just in such a funk. I want the cloud to lift so I can see the rainbow. 

Seriously, thank goodness for my friends, cause they are about the only thing keeping me sane right now. Ok...not quite sane, more like not-jumping-off-a-cliff-batshit-crazy. They've even brought me closer to my mission  of becoming a wino!  Ah...friends! All meltdowns can be cured by a good girls-night!

Just Call Me Dusty Westchester...

I don't usually remember my dreams but when I do it's usually because they are extremely steamy or terrifying.

I once had a dream about a plane crash in my front yard, with bloody and screaming bodies everywhere.  I could even smell the burning flesh in my dream. Gross, I know.

Last night I had an inappropriate dream about a celebrity.  No, not Brad Pitt. Not even George Clooney.  I would have loved for it to have been Bill Clinton…seriously; I have a thing for older men.  (Daddy issues, whatever).  Nope…none of those guys.  I had a dream about Ian Ziering from Beverly Hills 90210.  What!? Seriously???  Couldn't have been Luke Perry?? Ian-Friggin-Ziering?  Yuck.  So not my type. 

I have no clue why.  I haven't seen him on TV. I don't even know if he counts as a celebrity anymore?  D-List at best.

Curiosity killed the cat, so I googled sex dreams with celebrities. Here's what I found:

To dream that you are having sex with a celebrity indicates your drive to be successful. You are striving for recognition. Consider what movies you associate this celebrity with for clues as to where and what you want to achieve success in.

Ok…let’s go with that.  Let me see what movies he's been in and how this could possibly apply to me?

Tyrannosaurus Azteca - Two years before his famous encounter with Montezuma, Cortes is sent on a scouting mission to shores south of Mexico where he and his band of Conquistadores discover a small tribe of Aztecs who sacrifice their own people to satisfy the hunger of the "Thunder Lizard" living in the jungle.

The Christmas Hope - When lives intertwine during Christmas, hope is the only unifying gift. After suffering a personal tragedy, a social worker throws herself into finding homes for children in need.

Lava Storm - Lori and John Wilson, employees of an emergency response center, must find a way to survive the initial lava storms, to save John's father and their two teenage children. Even more importantly, they must find a way to slow the path of the lava storms, to give humankind the time to find a solution to this natural disaster, in order to save humanity and our Earth.

Stripped Down - With two fellow strippers, Lily spirals into a world of money, sex, and violence, ultimately awakening to a new 'stripped down' reality.

And, of course, Beverly Hills 90210 - Focuses on the pleasures and problems of a group of rich children who go to West Beverly High School.

I have contemplated this for a few minutes and have finally figured out what I am supposed to do with my life!!
I’m going to move to Mexico to save lost children from their lava-filled villages, while wearing my stripper heels and driving my Lamborghini.  My stage name will be Dusty Westchester.

Sounds about right…

Out and About

So I'm a few months into my thirties (14 months is a few) and I've realized something…I quite enjoy it!
Something's happened to me in the last few months, I've come outside my shell a bit and actually started going out with friends! WOOT!

Some of you would know that I'm a big-time introvert when it comes to social activities.  I'm all fun and games at work or at home, but put me in a social setting and I lose my bananas. Especially with people I don't know or with those I'm not truly comfortable with.  I much prefer the comfort of my own home. I am often quite content to just sit in silence and be with my thoughts (sometimes naughty, sometimes not). I always used the kids as my excuse.  Can't find a babysitter. It's too late. They have friends over. Yada-yada.  And as much as there was truth to that, I really just did not WANT to go anywhere.  I'm not a big drinker *though I have found my love for wine FINALLY*, so I never really liked late nights out. Plus who wants to be the sober one in a room full of drunks? I'm much more comfortable in jeans and flip flops than a dress. I really, really, REALLY, would prefer to stay home. I don't really like fashion so girly-talk frustrates me. I have two pairs of high heels and I hate them both.  I don't like to dress up or do my hair. I would rather spend that time and energy on reading a book or watching TV. I hate making plans in advance because I never really know what mood I will be in. And, ok…my anxiety also plays a part in not wanting to go out but that's a whole other story…and blog. 

But lately, I don't even know what's happening…I'm actually enjoying social nights out with friends. Maybe it's the friends or maybe it's me growing up…or maybe it's just cause I love a good excuse to eat food. I don't know, but I've been venturing out so much that I've almost forgotten about TV and the internet. I used to be obsessed with Perez Hilton and People and X17 but now I couldn't even tell you if Justin and Selena are still together or not.  I do know that Kimye is pregnant, but that's only cause it was a slow day at work. Did you know Jessica Simpson is pregnant too?! 

(My laptop is also broken, which is a big part but I'm so over it that I don't even really care if we replace it.  Unless you have a free laptop to give me, then yes, I definitely want one. Oh, and that's also the reason for the lack of blogs..an Iphone just doesn't cut it for typing…so if you want more blogs start a fundraiser to get me a computer!!)

I have a DVR that's usually full of shows for me to watch, and at one point I think I had like 40+ shows set up to record consistently. Now, between hanging out with my girlfriends, and spending more time watching shows that are actually interesting I don't even really watch much TV either. We are thinking about dropping cable and just using other means to download what we want to watch.  I really can go without CSI, Law & Order, and all those sitcoms that are predictable anyway. Maybe I'll even give up Glee too.  Nah…wait…OMG…I could never give up Glee.  Well, I could give it up as long as I googled what songs they sang so I could download those too?

We are also thinking about cutting the house phone, but that's more to keep bill collectors away.

I read somewhere that if you want more time in your life to just watch less TV.  I ended up doing that without even trying.  I'm not saying I'll be out everything night, I just plan on saying YES when I want to and NO when I don't…simple as that. 

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