Just feel the water...

Like my FB page:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pigeon-Pose-Emotions/230206560392271

 

 

“Tears are words the heart can't express”

During a conversation with an avid yogi, she said to me "OMG, don't you just love how you feel so much more".   What the hell is she talking about was my first reation but of course I kept it to myself and just said "oh yeah, for sure!".  She starts talking to me about when she first started yoga and how she didn't appreciate any of the small stuff  but that had all changed for her. I had no clue what she meant, I think at that point I'd been to maybe three classes.  I figured she was just one of "those people", you know the ones...they're always lovey-dovey, glass half full type of person that you generally want to punch in the face.

She finished the conversation by telling me to just feel the water next time I get in the shower. Just feel it, and appreciate it, and enjoy the small things in life (I guess like taking a shower?)  Friggin crazy lady...Ok, I'll "feel" the water.

I began to notice that one particular pose was making me want to cry. Cry like your mom just died type of cry.  I wanted to sob, I wanted to wail, and I laid there hoping I wouldn't make any noise.  We all know there's the "boy who farted", "the one who fell asleep", "the one with camel toe". I did NOT want to be "the girl that cried".  I held it back as best I could.  It worked, but I couldn't focus of anything else for the rest of the class. I slowly started trying to let myself cry, just a little bit, maybe a tear or two. It felt like I really needed to let "it" go.  I had no idea what "it" was I just knew that my body was trying to tell me something.

So there I was, hot, sweating, laying face down, and trying my hardest not to sob.  A few classes, and a few tears later I realized that the stuff I was thinking about in yoga was the stuff I was trying to avoid in real life.  My husband is 3000 kms away, I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with my kids, my parents are going through a divorce, my job frustrates me, my house is a mess, I can't keep up on the laundry, I have irrational fears that often control my thoughts...all of the stuff that was holding me down in life was boiling over in me during yoga class. Was I getting in touch with my softer side?

I started to make peace with my life. I'm beginning to enjoy life a little more. Cooking doesn't seem like such a chore, but an opportunity to spend time with my little helpers.  Call it Karma maybe, but I was offered and took a new job. I broke-up with an friend who was nothing but a dead weight in my life. I quit smoking. I quit coffee.  I'm not as angry as I used to be. I actually look forward to my day and night. I'm no where near where I probably should be.  I still have daddy-issues (and mommy-issues!), my marriage is a daily challenge.  I worry about my grandparents.  I still shop too much when I'm sad and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to deal with face to face conflict. 

But am I beginning to feel the water?  Maybe. 

Turns out she may have been on to something...

Studies have shown that doing yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system, lowering the heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure. Cortisol levels drop (the hormone secreted by the adrenal glands in response to stress) and the pituitary gland secretes oxytocin and prolactin—the "cuddle" hormones responsible for feelings of love. Also, a certain yogic breathing practices also likely stimulates the vagus nerve, which is a known treatment for depression. (http://www.kripalu.org/article/274/)