Was there ever a time that young girls felt ok about themselves and their bodies? As long as I can remember "society" has told me that I was not ok as I was. A girl can never be too skinny or too pretty. We are all supposed to wear makeup and dress up in pretty outfits. The higher the heel the sexier you are.
Then there's the double standards...if you wear too much makeup then you look like a tramp. If your skirt is too short then you look like a whore. If you don't have many dates you are a loser. Too many and you are a slut.
Girls just can't win.
I've always been so happy that my daughter is not a girly-girl. She hates dresses, can't stand barbies, and I have to tackle her to the ground to get her to even brush her hair.
She wears what she wants and doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of her clothes. She never matches, and most of the time she's covered in dirt anyway. I really thought I would not have to deal with the girl-drama.
Until the moment I heard her and two friends comparing their weight.
Broke. My. Heart.
It's bad enough that women have to go thru this crap but now my ten year old is embarrassed that she weighs more than her friends. My ten year old....totally normal weight. Right on track for her age and height. She's not "fat". She eats healthy foods. She plays outside all day and night. She is normal but feels far from it because of these stupid standards we project on girls.
I had a huge A-HA moment over the summer. I was always fighting with her about her hair. I wanted her to grow it long so she could put it in a ponytail. She kept begging me to let her cut it really short. As I look back on it now, I really didn't want to cut it for fear that she would look like a boy and people would treat her differently. I was terrified to deal with the comments and stares. I was...she wasn't. I realized that I was only enabling "society" saying it wasn't ok for her to do what she wanted to do. As much as I gave her freedom to pick her own style, I know I was subconsciously holding her back. Her body...her hair...her choice. So we buzzed it. Short!
Well, now I totally regret not doing it sooner. I freed her from being put in that bubble of being a "girl". And I freed myself of the daily fight to brush it!
Same thing with the clothes she wears. I would never force her to wear something "girly" but at the same time I would make her shop in the girl section of the stores. What was the point?! We would argue the entire time because she wanted the t-shirt from the boys rack and I would say NO. You are a girl....you MUST shop in the girl section.
Well no more! Little Miss has been happily shopping in the boy section for months now. And she couldn't be happier. Which makes me happy.
Little girl clothes are often form-fitting. Boys clothes are loose and comfortable. Girly underwear have lace and tiny elastic bands. Boy undies have a nice solid elastic band and they stay in place. Forget about trying to buy a decent training bra...they are all lacy and padded, so she won't wear one. Au-naturel for my girl for a few more years I guess! Can you say hippy?
I've spent way too long justifying why she is the way she is. She's a tomboy. She's going thru a stage. She's more comfortable that way. At the end of the day...she is who she and if people don't like that too effing bad!!!
She gets called "buddy" a lot and "hey little man"...some of my friends have even confused her for a boy. I don't even bat an eye any more and she's never been bothered by it. We don't correct strangers, she just smiles and carries on. The ones who love her most know that she's her own little self and don't judge her at all. I just hope that while she is struggling thru this vicious thing called being a teenager that she will be true to herself and not let the pressures of society get to her.
