I don't feel so good...

Every parent's worst nightmare..."Mommy, I don't feel so good".
Say it with me now...what comes next?!.....BARRRFFF. Hurl. Ralph. Vomit. 


Luckily, my children are well trained and, more often than not, they usual throw up in the toilet or if I'm lucky...outside.  Tonight I was extra lucky!  Not only did my daughter manage to throw up outside she also did it on someone else's property! (No clean up for me!) A quick outfit change and she was good to go. 


Or so I thought...


She went upstairs, got changed, grabbed a blanket and fell asleep on the floor in the living room. 
(See...well trained, no sleeping on furniture when there's a chance of vomit!)
Now, any parent knows when your child falls asleep (without being told) that something is up.  Or about to come up!


Not so tonight.  Twenty minutes later she was up and ready to go!  Jen and I wanted Jamaican food so we packed her up with a bucket and a blanket and off we went to the restaurant for takeout. She decided she just wasn't that hungry so she hung out in the car while we went in to order.  (OMG, don't judge me...I could see her the entire time)


We get home with our jerk chicken, curried chicken rotis, Jamaican patties, and lets not forget...the curried goat. (yep...)  I got the goat for my son because one of my parenting goals is to make him eat weird foods so I can laugh at his reactions.


Food is like miracle medicine for my daughter so, of course, by now she's starving.  She was eating full meals the same day she got her tonsils out. Don't mess with her when it comes to food!  She's eight, and eats full meals from the adult menus.


I figure I should probably steer clear of the curry...so I give her some rice, and half the patty.  She insists I give her the roti, and just chugs some water as she eats.   She eats, and eats some more, and just when she thinks she's full she spots the container of "meat" on the counter that she hasn't tried yet.  She asks...and she shall receive. 
Jen and I had a great giggle while she ate it.  Like when you give someone a sour candy and wait for the face to pucker! But it turns out that Grace likes goat. (BORING!!)


So less than two hours after the vomit began, she'd eaten curry, more curry, even more curry....and goat. 


As I type, she's sleeping, quite soundly, next to me. (OMG, don't judge...we just finished watching a movie in my bed)


All I know is that if I wake up tonight with chucks of goat-y puke in my hair I'm gonna be pissed....but it will be all my fault!

W4D2 - Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Well, lordy lordy...guess who tried partner-yoga tonight!!  I don't even know if that's really what it's called but it sounded good to me so I'm stickin' with it!

At first I was like..."She said we're going to do what?!!" I don't wanna touch people, or have people touch me.  We sweat like Lindsay Lohan on a court date.  It's icky...

We started off simple...Say hello to your neighbor. Then...pick a neighbor...

First pose...OMG, who do I pick?? I hate having to ask someone, yet you never want to be the last one without a partner!  I look around with sheer panic and thankfully the teacher sent me in the direction of another member who needs a partner. It's a girl (good!) and we aren't sweating yet (better!) so this one is easy! It's back-to-back, trying to sync our breathing. Super relaxed, super awesome. 

Second pose...Woo hoo!! Melissa! Someone I know....yeah, yeah I know this is "cheating", it's supposed to be new people (for our challenge)....but we're getting a little sweaty now and I don't want to sweat all over a stranger. Somehow I feel much better knowing I'm sweating all over a friend! LOL  I dunno...keep your yoga community close, but your sweaty yoga friends closer!? We do tree pose, side by side, and afterwards I feel like she should really take me out to dinner first before she put the moves on me like that.  Hell, at least buy me a beer!! 

Third pose...ok, by this point I'm ready to die which is pretty much a guarantee when Emilie - The "let go of any expectations" yoga teacher is involved! Because of the lack of oxygen going to my brain, I can't remember which pose came next?  I think the butt-to-butt "something-or-other" side bend. All I know is my ass was quivering like a baby who just lost his soother and I'm sure I gave my new partner a nice bum massage because of it!  I don't know what it is with my butt, but when I'm not supposed to squeeze it that's all I do.  I spend the whole pose willing myself to just "let your ass go Wendy....Let it GO!"    NOooo...the whole time, it's like shake, shake, shaking away.

Fourth pose...new partner again. OMG, if we were any sweatier there would be a small flood in the yoga room.  This time tree pose, looking at each other, one doing prayer, the other putting their hands over the partner's hands.  Well, let me tell you right now....I'm not in denial...I could use a few weeks (YEARS!) of therapy.  I do NOT do well with eye contact.  The kind of eye contact where you both know you are making an attempt to look the other in the eye.  I don't know why it's so hard, I just know I can't do it.   I have a hard time making eye contact with my hubby when we...ya know...and we've been together for 13 years!!  Just look me in the forehead...I'm totally fine with that.

I really, really earned my sticker tonight!  Thanks to our LYM Challenge, I can definitely say I'm MUCH closer to my fellow yogis...

So, let's make the most of this beautiful day
Since we're together we might as well say
Would you be mine, could you be mine
Won't you be my neighbor

Week 4 - Sangha Support

Sangha Support...aka...show support for your chosen community...aka...show support for the peeps at my super awesome yoga class. (Moksha Yoga Dartmouth!)

This week's challenge:
Introduce yourself to someone new each day you are at yoga practice
Easy....

Not so easy...introducing myself to people at my new job. I'm not sure what's worse...army guys or engineers...or army engineers.
They all suck.  But I will try.

W3D7 -- Clenched

I went to yoga class today, and the instructor kept mentioning to "release your buttocks". I kept thinking "Oh shoot, my butt's clenched again...It's like he's speaking directly to me".

Then I realized....OMG, the yoga teacher is probably looking at MY ass right now. My clenched, dimply, wide ass.  Great!

It reminded me of going to the lady-doctor...you know he's seen them all before, yours isn't the first. But it doesn't make you feel any better and it's always hard to look them in the eye afterwards.

So, to my yoga teacher...I apologize for talking to your chin as I left the class.

W3D5 - Who's a Diva?

Happy Earth Day!

I was feeling so green today that Grace & I went out and did some gardening. Actually, preparation for gardening. We cleaned up all of the garbage that blew over from the neighbor's house. (No judgement though, maybe they just didn't realize all their crap was in my yard)

I fought off giant worms, weird looking bugs, and a slug-looking thingy.  I've learned gardening gloves make these things (slightly) less scary.  But, OMG, one of the worms was the fat, juicy type, YUCK...but again, who am I to judge?!

I've also been spending a lot of time surfing the internet for green-ish ideas. I will admit that I am not the best recycler, I usually only compost when I have a big pile of food scraps, and I have to be known to preheat my car from time to time.   On the flip side, I do (sometimes) use cloth bags, I refuse plastic bags if I can carry stuff out instead, and I reuse towels at least a few times before they hit the laundry (this is more because I'm too lazy to do laundry...but who are YOU to judge!?)

In my journey to find green, I noticed there were a few ladies on the LYM Facebook page who were talking about Diva Cups and lovin' them.  Hmm, I can be a Diva, and I like cups...must be a new recycleable drinking cup. I wanna see! I wanna see!
Let me google it.....wait, what?! It's a WHAT!?!? OMFG?!?!

Now, I will give you a moment to do the same thing...Google it: 'DIVA CUP'
.........................................................It's ok, I'll wait...................................

OMG.  Right!?  Now, I'm not going to judge anyone who goes this route...BUT...I will flat out say, this is NOT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

Diva Cup, eco friendly container to catch your period.  Sounds wonderful. OMG.
I've heard of these things before, sort of like a diaphram.  It's sounds messy. It sounds like a lot of work. It sounds like something I shall never partake in!

First, what happens if (when!) it spills? How do you get it out without rocking the boat?
Second, how much digging would be required? For people with children...do you remember how far the doctor had to reach (way-up-there) to check your cervix?
Third....UGH...GAG...UGH.

I also notice there are reusable pads.  Ok, seriously people?!?!  Have women not suffered enough?  There's mention of snaps and bands to hold the pad to the "gusset" of your underwear. Oh please, please...talk dirty to me!  LOL...GUSSET?!
Let's just say, a very 1800's porn scene just popped into my head. 

Oh it gets better....these particular eco-friendly pads I found are made of flannel!  (and men complain about women who wear flannel PJs!)
Flannel pressed up against my vajaja is something I only want on a very cold, December night.

There's light, medium, and heavy flow. That's expected.
Then comes plus-sized...do vaginas get fat?  I've been skinny, I've been fat, I've been pregnant twice (one with a 70+lb weight gain) and I do NOT recall my vagina ever growing or shrinking in size. 

You can get butterfly designs on your pads, or apples, or stripes, or even cupcakes.  Does my vagina care what design is there?  My vagina does not judge.
Funny thing is, you can't just get a plain red design.  Wouldn't that make more sense?

Then comes the wash & care instructions....pre-soaking or pre-rinsing recommended.  REALLY?! Never would have figured that out on my own! Forget the hubby helping with laundry every 28 days. Mine won't buy me tampons at the store, you think he's going to pre-treat my pads? And forget about him hanging the laundry out to dry...

Then there's the special soap, and travel cases, and a stain removers (LMAO!).
I just simply can't go on...

W3D1 -- A big shit-show of No-No's...

Totally random question --- Why do I constantly crave carbs? How do I stop myself from wanting to eat a whole loaf of bread? What am I missing?  And PLEASE don't say willpower!! BHA!!  We all know I'm missing that!

Ok, on to day 1 of week 3.  I already use a reusable water bottle. HOWEVER...while filling it up at the fountain I noticed mold.  Lovely black mold in my straw. Bye-Bye water bottle.

I brought my lunch in a reusable container. Although, due to poor planning I didn't think through what to put my sandwich in so it ended up in a baggie. I have no containers that fit a sandwich. I've tried the 'sandwich' containers before for the kids and they are always forgetting them at school. So whoever (whomever?!) raids the lost-and-found will be Green!

My day consisted of purging old crap from the last lady who worked at my job. Therefore there was a lot of paper being tossed. Recycle bin though so points for that!  I'm also trying to clean out filing cabinets to make room for new year so I'm thinking in order to reduce my impact this week I will just surf Facebook instead until next week.  This is a sacrifice I am totally willing to make.

I got home early, and made supper.  My mission this week is to HOPEFULLY go the week without buying ANYTHING!! I am going to clean out the hoards of food in my house. I know I'm not the only one with 5 half used (or half full!) BBQ sauces. Or five boxes of cereal on the go.  I just realized tonight I have about 30 pounds of broccoli to eat due to my impulsive buys at Costco. So this week I'm not eating anything that I don't already have in my house.

I felt I did relatively good today, I mean it's not like I spent all day buying plastic just to throw it away.  I used containers, I recycled my papers, I didn't get take out, or coffee.  I am GREAT!  I am doing wonderful!  Ohhh...shit, I left the oven on after supper. OOPS! 
So maybe I just balanced out today?!  My recycling and tupperware cancels out my oven being on at 350ºF for three extra hours??

I gave myself a sticker today for effort.  If I can make it through tomorrow without leaving a tap running then I'll give myself another!

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?"

Week 3 - Zero Impact

This week's challenge is all about being Green. Little to no impact on the world. Well, we all know that zero is a bit crazy...for me at least, so let's see how far I can take it this week. Here are some of my (recommended) list of NO-NO's for the week:


• Take out containers - Bring your own tupperware if you eat out.
• Coffee cups - Carry your own travel mug
• Plastic Water Bottles - Use your own glass water bottle and save money by refilling.
• Plastic Grocery Bags - Keep a stash of canvas bags with you so you don't forget!
• Paper napkins - Try cloth napkins instead (how sophisticated!)
• Paper towel - Try hand towels or reusable cloths to wipe up your spills
• Toilet Paper - Okay, we can't all go ZERO on this one, but why not try to use just what you need, if um, you know what we mean (tee hee!)
• Printing Paper - Depending on the type of work you do, attempt to cut out all paper use for the week. Email instead of print paper, walk over to a colleagues desk to share information instead of writing a note, call your bank and cable company to ask for electronic bills, make a "No Junk Mail" note on your mailbox at home.
• Turn Off - your computer when it's not in use, lights (don't we all look better in candlelight anyway?) heat, electronics, and everything or anything else that requires energy.


Now, I'm pretty sure I won't be monitoring how much toilet paper I use. That seems like something I probably won't compromise on!  But on a positive note...I'm pretty sure my children never use enough so we should balance each other out in the end.


I'm off the coffee still (damn you bad habits!!), and I already use a reusable water bottle. I do not own cloth napkins (sophisticated in not a word used much in this house). BUT, my children will again balance that out as they use their shirts for EVERYTHING.


Let's see what the week brings...It's not easy being Green!

W2D7 -- Love Can Build a Bridge

Love can build a bridge
Between your heart and mine
Love can build a bridge
Don't you think it's time?
Don't you think it's time?

Oprah strikes again with another AHA moment for me.
Thanks to the OWN Network , and the new show "The Judds" I have a little more insight into my own Mother/Daughter issues.

Brief overview:
My mom gets pregnant at 17yrs old, has me when she's 18. No Daddy in the picture. We lived with my grandparents, who ended up being more of the parental figures than my mom. But, she plays the older sister role very well!  As often happens, I completed the cycle by becoming pregnant at the age of 16 and had my son when I was 17.

My relationship with my mother has been sort of love/hate. It's been embarrassing, it's been fun, it's been stressful, it's been many things.  I grew up with a friend, a very best friend that shared too much with me and I shared too much with her.  She was the one who let me break the rules and then the one who questioned why I did it.

I'd gladly walk across the desert
With no shoes upon my feet
To share with you the last bite
Of bread I had to eat

I'm 29 now, and still haven't had a typical "normal" day with my mother. We fight, we make up, we go out for coffee. And repeat!  She annoys me, she helps me, she makes me laugh...usually AT her, not necessarily with her!
We get confused for sisters, which pisses me off and thoroughly delights her.
She always takes things one step too far, and I take delight in humiliating her in public.
I don't think she pushes herself hard enough, she thinks I'm too hard on her.
I think she doesn't deal with her "issues" and makes excuses. She thinks she's dealing with them to the best of her ability. And now I see...who am I to judge?

I would swim out to save you
In your sea of broken dreams
When all your hopes are sinkin'
Let me show you what love means

Our relationship is often a hot topic. We are judged for it. People give me a confused look when I say we talk on the phone EVERYDAY!  Sometimes more than that. My mother's had to defend why I tagged along with her so much.  We stick with each other through thick and thin. We've never gone more than a few hours actually being mad at each other. People have said we're dysfunctional.  Is there any family who's not?

When we stand together
It's our finest hour
We can do anything, anything
Keep believin' in the power

She's my best friend,
She's my mother,

She's my Frother...Friend/Mother. ;-)



P.S. For those who can't tell which one is 18 YEARS OLDER...I'm the one without glasses.

W2D3 - Clean enough to be healthy

Ever walk in to your house and want to immediately turn around and run for your life??

It turns out not everything to do with yoga is a good thing.  It's time consuming!!
Which means my house is a friggin disaster most of the time! DISASTER!

I decided, a few months ago, that in pursuit of my internal happiness I would have to sacrifice something in my life. Turns out that meant laundry, sweeping, mopping, and just general housekeeping.  I feel like that might be a pretty sweet compromise.
I used to spend at least a solid hour each night, after the kids went to bed, cleaning up. Everything had to be back in order before the next day.  I would be up so late, dragging my ass to bed and then dragging it back out of bed in the morning.  I was tired all the time, never got a chance to read at bed, and most of the time was just in a miserable mood knowing that I would be stuck cleaning up all night.

During a particularly stressful evening, I thought to myself "F#CK IT", I'm not cleaning up anymore! I'm sick of being the maid, I'm sick of being told "I have no clean socks", I'm sick of it, sick of it, sick of it!!!  A HUGE fight with my 12yr old and a temper tantrum or two later (by me of course!)...and I finally saw the light. An AHA moment as Oprah would say.  My house does not need to be perfect. It doesn't need to be anything more than a roof over our heads if that's what I choose.  I don't care anymore if all the supper dishes are cleaned and put away. Will a stack of dishes in the sink kill anyone?!? Likely NOT! Hell, a dinner table full of dishes won't hurt anyone either!  I'm pretty sure socks on the floor have never caused world wars.  And a few (or more than a few) crumbs have never caused incurable diseases. 

My home is clean enough that the 5 second rule still applies. Ten seconds, probably not.  My home is clean enough that I'm ok with random drop-bys (just call first!). My home is clean enough that we can usually find clean clothes, they may just be coming out of a laundry basket instead of a drawer. My home is clean enough for Child Protection Services to not be called!!

My home is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy...

W2D2 -- Too Sexy for your Party!

I love music, and it often plays out in my head like an episode of Glee.  I put music to my day, my memories, my life.  Sooo it only fits that for this week's challenge my song that keeps playing in my head is "I'm Too Sexy"...ya know the one...

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I don't beat myself up so much on a daily basis as I do for certain events in my life (ugh...save those for week of forgiveness!!).

I'm the type of girl that can roll in to work with my hair barely brushed and not a lick of makeup on and still feel like I'm rocking it. I love sleep way too much to get up any earlier than necessary. I'm comfortable (enough) in my skin to not worry about it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can find LOADS of things wrong with myself and I've spent my fair share of time in front of a mirror wishing I could change one thing or another.  Can you say stretch marks the size of Grand Canyon??

My negative thoughts on a typical day are more about other people (ya know the ones...the ones you want to punch in the face!)
There's the perfect ones, the fake ones, the annoying ones, the too perky ones, the too cranky ones, the dull ones, the one-uppers (I broke my toe, you broke your foot ones), the weird ones, the smothering ones....the list goes on and on and on.

I think most of us, at least the honest ones, have those thoughts on a daily basis. OMG, I can't stand her!! He is soooo frigging annoying!  What the hell is wrong with her??!

I did it tonight at yoga class.  A nameless distraction that was ANNOYING!!!!!!  It was only because of this challenge that I smiled and accepted that this was going to be part of my life for 75 mins. Typically, I would be so pissed off.

This week is about acceptance.  I accept that my stretch marks will never go away. I accept that I will never be the same size I was in high school, I accept the annoying distractions and I accept that I'm so sexy it hurts...

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

W1 DONE!

Week 1 -- Mission (mostly) Accomplished.

5 days of vegetarianism (all day)
2 day of complete failure

Turns out inviting your mother and her best friend over on the same weekend you are supposed to be challenging yourself is not a good idea.  I won't go into the dirty details but lets just say it involves Greek food, Starbucks and birthday cake! 

I also missed my usual weekend yoga classes...but I did challenge myself by spending an hour showing and teaching my mother some moves! This quickly turned into a laugh-fest and the realization that my mother is never allowed in a public yoga class (....She's "the girl who farted"...WAY TOO MANY TIMES)

Overall, I think I had a pretty good week. The kids survived the meatless dinners and actually enjoyed a few more than I expected.  They got involved and took the challenge with me! We bonded over how disgusting coconut milk but we also agreed we will try again with almond milk.  It was a great week, and I'm more than sure that this vegetarian challenge will filter into our daily lives.  Plus, all of this while being sick most of the week!  At first I thought my exercise allergy was back but then I figure it out, I'm allergic to my new coworkers instead (can you say BORING?!....OMG, you have no idea!) 

Next week's challenge --- Practice Positive Self-Talk AKA the one time it's going to be OK to actually speak about the voices in my head!

Forgive me Moksha, for I have sinned...

Like my FB page:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pigeon-Pose-Emotions/230206560392271

W1D3 -- Off to a good start, more Soy Crunch for breakfast. I had a pear, banana and orange between breakfast and lunch.

Lunch...well, due to poor planning last night and sleeping in this morning, I did not pack a lunch. 
Now, this may be TMI (too much info!)...but it's part of my excuse so I feel the need  to share.  ~~~ Boys, close your eyes....

I started my period.

Sooooo, lunch time I take off in the car.  McDonald's in calling my name.  Wendyyyyy...Weeennnnddyyyyy.....WEEEENNNNNDDYYYYYY!

What little willpower I have takes over.  NO, screw you McDonalds...I will not eat you no matter how much you tempt me.

Off to the Superstore I go, my plan is a salad and maybe a fruit cup.  WRONG!  The voices in my head are taking over.  Weennndyyyy....go for the grease!! You know you wanna!! 

OMG, I can't stand it anymore...I find myself at the counter where the chicken fingers and taters are. Oh man...chicken fingers...a juicy chicken finger with some sweet & sour sauce.  NO, NO, NO...I will not do it. It's only friggin day three.

But I just can't walk away...so I compromise with my PMS'ing self and just order taters.  Plus, I grab an apple (btw, apple + taters = cancelled out calories...don't argue with me!)

I make it through the rest of the afternoon on a few spoon fulls of almond butter (Thank you Estelle for my new addiction!)

I'd promised the kids we would go see HOP prior to knowing I'd be giving up sugar for the week.  Who's friggin idea was it to give up sugar?? Oh, yeah...mine.

Anyway, off we go to the movies and I'm super pissed that I have to drink water. Who goes to the movies and drinks water??? I was giving my self the A-OK to eat popcorn.  No extra butter, and a smaller size than I normally get. That's a pretty good compromise I think.  But no pop...man, that sucks.  We get up to the counter and all of sudden I hear myself saying "KIT KAT BAR" ...Noooo Wendy....NOOOO SUGAR!!!  But my period is telling me I really, really want the bar. I know it's cheating, but who's gonna argue with an emotionally unstable girl on her period? Not me!  I've been really good for 2.5 days so the devil on my shoulder lets me finish ordering the bar.  Then..."DIET COKE"....WENDY!!! WTH!?!?  You already gave yourself the bar.  Could you not just stick with water???
Apparently my self control is about as strong as a my arms when I try to do Chaturanga.

I did the walk of shame to our seats, with my bag of popcorn, bar, pop, and fries...uh, forget I said fries.  No fries!

I felt so guilty I ended up letting the kids eat the bar, and Grace ate half of my popcorn.  I left more than half the pop in the garbage at the end of the movie.

So there ya go Moksha....I hope you feel good! Because of you I had to share and I'm an only child so that's not easy for me!!    

Tomorrow I jump back on the wagon...with a dose of Midol to save the day.

W1D2

Day two with no meat, no junkfood, no (added) sugar....unless you count the eye candy at work that I did nasty things to with my thoughts.  Three words...strong, military men!!!  I love my job...something about a man in unifor...wait, this is the wrong diary for that!

Back to LYM challenge. 

Today's food:
Breakfast - Soy Crunch...MUCH better than the crappy cheerios with no flavor (I.E. no added sugar!!)
Snack - veggies (carrots, celery and broccoli)
Lunch - My 2nd attempt at my VEGAN soup!! YIPPEE...I'm not a spazz today and manage to walk all the way from my car to my desk without dropping anything!  So soup and a yogurt.
Supper - Thats to my yoga buddy, Stephanie, I looked up a Latke recipe and made those. Yummmmmy!  I think she does sweet potato & pear, mine were just regular ol' white potatoes but still yuuummmmmyyyy!   So those, and a side salad.

Yoga: Day two of yoga classes with the always charming Estelle.  Technically, tonight was my 6th consecutive class so I will be taking a break tomorrow night to take the kids to see HOP!  I was super excited until I realized this will be the first time EVER that I don't get pop at the theatre..no sugar is no fun :-(   But I will still be enjoying my super greasy, super delicious popcorn (and for sure...i KNOW there's no meat in that either!)

Random side track of the day --- A conversation with my daughter:
Grace: Hobos have much more food to choose from in the springtime.
Wendy: Uh, ok...why is that?
Grace: Well all the green leaves and lettuce and stuff grows in the springtime.
Wendy: Yes, but hobos don't generally have access to gardens.  A lot of homeless people have to eat whatever they can find, they don't get to be picky.
(Jeremy: Yeah Grace, and besides...lettuce doesn't grow on trees!)
Wendy: What made you think of hobos?
Grace: I don't know, just looking at the lettuce made me think of them.
Wendy: Oh, ok...well...grab the salad dressing!!

Is there steak in my crackers?

W1D1 has come to a close.
I survived without meat and without sugar.  Ok, added sugar.  I'm sure there was sugar in my granola bar but you can't judge me for it as I'm still learning.

Which brings me to my question of the day....how do I know what the hell is vegan or not?

Simple knowledge of vegetarianism tells me that I know there's no meat in my triscuit crackers...but what else is in there that may or may not make my crackers vegan?  Are vegans insanely smart with photographic memories?  Are they super machines that just know what's good and what's not?   I'm guessing here, but I'm thinking they can't ALL be geniuses.  Just like not all blondes are dumb....right?!

During my trek to the Superstore to find lunch (friggin soup accident!!) I thought I'd take some time and grab a few things that would benefit my challenge. I feel like I'm cheating the challenge if I count breakfast as my vegetarian meal. I also feel that regardless of this challenge I have plenty of vegetarian meals per week. I wanted to take it up a notch and try a few vegan meals/snacks this week.  Yeah right!  I looked like a fool (with my pants on the ground HA!)  standing in the aisles, lining up cracker boxes to see what the differences were. 

The stress is so bad I'm starting to crave steak now.  You have to read EVERYTHING, think about EVERYTHING. It's easy to remember eggs, milk, butter etc...but you grab a loaf of whole wheat bread and then go "Awww CRAP!" You can't make bread without at least one of those things.  Or correction...you can't just run up to the bread section and grab a loaf without looking first.

I shall continue on my journey to find "normal" foods that are considered vegan. 
I've double-checked that there's no steak in my triscuits...just wheat, soybean oil, and salt.  So checkmark for me....I found vegan crackers!!

Vegetarian: A person who eats only side dishes.

W1D1 --- Week 1, Day 1

6:30am – So far o.k. This morning’s breakfast consisted of Cheerios and 2% milk. My goal is to eventually move to 1% milk. Don’t even mention skim….blah, puke, gag, gross.  It’s like drinking white harbour water. Disgusting.

I have coconut milk but the thought of coconut cheerios was a little nasty. Breakfast didn’t count as vegan, but 1 point for vegetarian breakfast!  Yeah for me!  LOL

This is a far cry from the bacon, eggs, toast and hash browns that I typically have at work each morning.   Yeah for the new job too as there’s no cafeteria in this building.

** This should guarantee at least a pound or two weight loss this week right??

Come on, it better!!

7:00 am - Lunch is packed. Vegan soup, two clementines, a granola bar and pear. I’m happy, and we’re all on our way out the door for work.

7:20am – Disaster strikes. I’m on my way into the office when my lunch bag falls from my hands. I’ve just fed the sidewalk some, very yummy, vegan soup. FRIGGGGGGGGG!

I hate Mondays.

7:25 am – I’ve managed to salvage my fruit and granola bar. I’m really hoping my pear doesn’t end up tasting like beans.   I will head to Superstore at lunch and grab a crappy salad.  

10:19am – OMG, I’m friggin starving. Note to self ~ tomorrow eat many, many more Cheerios!  The clementines are gone, and so is the granola bar. The pear is really freaking me out though. What if I eat it and it takes like beans? Then I’m screwed til I go for lunch. But if I eat it and it doesn’t taste like beans then I’ve eaten it and I’ll be screwed until I go for lunch.  See the dilemma?? So I will wait until 11:00am to eat the pear. Seems like a reasonable compromise.

11:46am – I ate the pear, it was fine. But it did suffer a nasty bruise during its fall.

Off to the superstore to get some lunch…

Prepping for the Live Your Moksha Week 1 Challenge

The yoga class I belong to, Moksha Yoga, is doing a 7-week Live Your Moksha Challenge. LYM will consist of the seven pillars of Moksha.  This blog will serve as my online diary as I make my way through the challenge.

Week 1: Live Healthy - "Green" at least one meal per day aka Go Vegetarian!
Supersize Challenge - Cut out caffeine, and SUGAR (NNNOOOO!!!!).
The supersize challenge is more for vegans who are already living healthy, but I'm throwing an extra challenge in there for the hell of it!  It was also supposed to be alcohol but that's a no-brainer for me as I drink maybe once or twice a year....but when I do, baby, watch out I let loose!! HA!

So here goes....

I've shopped healthier this week. I did what they say and steered clear of those dreaded middle aisles at the grocery store. Lots of fruit and veggies. No chips in my house, no cookies, and I even bought coconut milk to try to substitute a few times this week. Lots of beans too...so yeah, if you see me hiding at the back of the room you'll know why!

In all reality, sugar is not that big of deal for me. If I would have been told no carbs... lets just say I'd probably punch someone in the throat by the end of the week.   Carbs are my life, my light at the end of the tunnel, my soulmate, my best friend, my shoulder to lean on. Give me a loaf a bread and we'll be friends for life! Give me some crackers and cheese..and well I'd do about anything for it!  (ANYTHING!!)

I made some vegan soup today, VEGAN! This will last me a few days for lunches. I ate that same soup last week too and never thought about the fact that there was no meat or animal products in it but suddenly this week it's "vegan" for the simpled fact that I'll get a sticker at yoga class!!  Who doesn't love a good sticker?!

I've also preplanned some meals. Stir fry Monday...OK, that's really as far as I got but I'm pretty sure I can wing it for the rest of the week. I get the feeling it may be "normal" meals but without the meat for a few nights. 
"Look kids!! It's porkchops, rice and veggies...just without the porkchop!" 

I'd also like to take this time to apologize to kids and wish the luck this week! For those who don't know my two little piggies, Jeremy is 12 and eats like a 30yr old truck driver, and Grace is 8 and eats likes a 30yr old truck driver on steroids.  The both love meat, and I'm pretty my son will have a fit as "dinner isn't dinner without meat". But they also both love veggies and trying different things plus they both love animals so this may be a good life lesson for them.

Let the adventure begin for all of us!! 

BTW, I am not trying a vegetarian diet because I love animals. I'm doing it because I hate plants.

Namaste.

Just feel the water...

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“Tears are words the heart can't express”

During a conversation with an avid yogi, she said to me "OMG, don't you just love how you feel so much more".   What the hell is she talking about was my first reation but of course I kept it to myself and just said "oh yeah, for sure!".  She starts talking to me about when she first started yoga and how she didn't appreciate any of the small stuff  but that had all changed for her. I had no clue what she meant, I think at that point I'd been to maybe three classes.  I figured she was just one of "those people", you know the ones...they're always lovey-dovey, glass half full type of person that you generally want to punch in the face.

She finished the conversation by telling me to just feel the water next time I get in the shower. Just feel it, and appreciate it, and enjoy the small things in life (I guess like taking a shower?)  Friggin crazy lady...Ok, I'll "feel" the water.

I began to notice that one particular pose was making me want to cry. Cry like your mom just died type of cry.  I wanted to sob, I wanted to wail, and I laid there hoping I wouldn't make any noise.  We all know there's the "boy who farted", "the one who fell asleep", "the one with camel toe". I did NOT want to be "the girl that cried".  I held it back as best I could.  It worked, but I couldn't focus of anything else for the rest of the class. I slowly started trying to let myself cry, just a little bit, maybe a tear or two. It felt like I really needed to let "it" go.  I had no idea what "it" was I just knew that my body was trying to tell me something.

So there I was, hot, sweating, laying face down, and trying my hardest not to sob.  A few classes, and a few tears later I realized that the stuff I was thinking about in yoga was the stuff I was trying to avoid in real life.  My husband is 3000 kms away, I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with my kids, my parents are going through a divorce, my job frustrates me, my house is a mess, I can't keep up on the laundry, I have irrational fears that often control my thoughts...all of the stuff that was holding me down in life was boiling over in me during yoga class. Was I getting in touch with my softer side?

I started to make peace with my life. I'm beginning to enjoy life a little more. Cooking doesn't seem like such a chore, but an opportunity to spend time with my little helpers.  Call it Karma maybe, but I was offered and took a new job. I broke-up with an friend who was nothing but a dead weight in my life. I quit smoking. I quit coffee.  I'm not as angry as I used to be. I actually look forward to my day and night. I'm no where near where I probably should be.  I still have daddy-issues (and mommy-issues!), my marriage is a daily challenge.  I worry about my grandparents.  I still shop too much when I'm sad and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to deal with face to face conflict. 

But am I beginning to feel the water?  Maybe. 

Turns out she may have been on to something...

Studies have shown that doing yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system, lowering the heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure. Cortisol levels drop (the hormone secreted by the adrenal glands in response to stress) and the pituitary gland secretes oxytocin and prolactin—the "cuddle" hormones responsible for feelings of love. Also, a certain yogic breathing practices also likely stimulates the vagus nerve, which is a known treatment for depression. (http://www.kripalu.org/article/274/)

Allergic to Exercise

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Hello, my name is Wendy, and I'm addicted to hot yoga.  It's been 5hrs since I last used.

For anyone who knows me, Health is not a word often used by me!
A little background for you...I'm a couch potato, am allergic to exercise (REALLY, I AM!!), and I love food more than the stripper up the street loves crack. I tend to think that people who exercise for fun should be punched in the face.

Like I said, I'm allergic to exercise.  A few years ago I thought I'd start trying to lose some baby weight (so my "baby" was 5 at the time...it still counts as baby weight). I started with a crazy DVD called Yoga-Booty-Ballet. Next day...diarreah.  A few months later I signed up for a few free weeks at a gym.  Next day...flu AND diarreah. Fast forward a few more months, I get my hands on some Richard Simmons DVDs...next thing I know I'm getting x-rays then physio for my "slanted" kneecaps.  So screw it, I was determined to remain a couch potato!  I was true to my word for a few more months and foolishly thought I would start walking.  Within a few weeks of random walks, I landed in the hospital with kidney stones.  BUT...here comes the good stuff...because of the X-ray taken for the stones they found out that my heart was enlarged.  Next came the trip to my family doctor who also confirmed that I had an irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure, thyroid troubles, the onset of heart failure and to top it all off...a friggin hernia. WHAT?!?!? SERIOUSLY?? Ok, so I was done with exercise for sure now!  Needless to say, after plenty of followups, tests, and visits to the cardiologist I was cleared of any problems and it was labeled as a misdiagnosis.  But clearly, ten of the worst months of my life.  

Turns out though that the thought of potentially dying can make a person change a little. I found myself thinking that may I should give the exercise thing another go. After my run of back luck could it really get any worse?? Fingers crossed!

Enter in Hot Yoga...

I worked with a girl who lived through a horrific skydiving accident.  Part of her healing process was a type of hot yoga called Moksha Yoga.  I also noticed a FB friend who's statuses seemed to be overrun with yoga updates.  Well, that seems interesting, I thought.  Something about it being OK to be sweaty was a little appealing. Nothing like being at the gym next to the perky, annoying blond who was running on the treadmill and barely dewy. 
So I emailed my FB friend, asked what it was all about...and the rest is history!!

It turns out that I am not allergic to exercise afterall. I am allergic to exercise that I don't like to do!!