Dilemma of my yoga life...back of the class or right up front by the mirror?
If I go to the back I'm more comfortable. If I go to the front I am challenging my inner voice that tells me I don't belong at the front of the room. In my mind, the front is for the skinny bitches or the yoga pros. Not for moi!
If I go to the back I can watch everyone and make sure I'm doing it right. If I go to the front then, by default, I become the one being watched. Are they looking at my ass? )(Probably my clenched ass!) Are they secretly laughing at me because I'm doing it all wrong? I know, I know...nobody is really supposed to look but come on!!
If I go to the back I can't see myself. If I go to the front I can see my alignment and correct myself better. Although, I can also see my sweaty body, and the clingy clothes. Not so good for the self esteem ;-0
If I go to the back I don't have to put in 100% effort. Nobody sees if my runner's lunge is a lunge or more of a lean. If I go to the front then I feel the need to push myself to the limits of my poses, sometimes probably too much.
See my dilemma?!
The only time I don't have this issue is in the little room (no mirrors!!) I sort of prefer the middle of the room. No full commitment on either end.
So tonight I go and drop my mat in the middle of the room. There's another row available right in front of me. A nice little comfort zone...perfect!
We go get changed, and then sit around chatting until it's time for class to start.
I walk into class....ahh man...nobody went in front of us. Melissa and I shoot each other same look...SHOOT!! We're FRONT ROW! The pressure is now on us. Everyone is looking!! Listen, in my head everyone was looking OK!
Next time I'm thinking we move to row three just to be on the safe side!
The only time I want to be front row is at a concert.
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