W6D7 - If I would have known...

While surfing the books at Chapters this week for some interesting reads, I came across a book called "What I know now: Letters to my Younger Self"... and it sort of stuck with me.  It seems that everyday I'm learning more and more about myself, and I'm really starting to let go of the emotions that held me back before. I've done a lot of not-so-great things in my life.

What do I wish someone would have told me? What would I have said to myself? Here goes...

Dear 12yr old Wendy,

Love...

It's summertime, you are a few months shy of your birthday and you are babysitting that night. Your friend dares you to call a boy that you are madly in love with. This "boy" is way older than you, he shouldn't even be answering your phone call...but he does.  Before you know it, plans are made to go to his house after you're done babysitting. You and your friend will go to his house and stuff will happen that will change your life forever. Your friend will tell someone, who'll tell someone, who'll tell twenty someones and the next thing you know you'll be known...and not in a good way.  It will shock you how people, who aren't even in your school, will know everything. Every little detail.  The "boy" will be tortured by his peers and his life will never be the same either (rightfully so)...but it will take you 15 years to realize that none of that was your fault.  He never should have answered the phone...

I wish I would have known that the next time, which should have been your first time, was the one you should have cherished. This is the one that will count. The second time will be with the one you loved, with the one who held your heart for years for years before and years to come.  He was the one who was your "first true love" and that is the memory you should hold on to. 

You'll have plenty more heartbreak before these years are over. Boys will come and go, and most of them won't leave a very big impression on your life. But one will...he'll be the one that respected you so much he never pressured you for anything. He'll be the one that will search for you at the end of the night, he'll find you in the hallways at school and give you that glance. Few people will know about this relationship and it's just the way you both like it. He'll be the one you spend lazy afternoons with. He'll send you little messages and make you feel special. He'll be the one known as your "second true love". But he will also be the first one to really break your heart....he will not survive, he will leave this world too soon. So this boy is the one I will tell you to treasure every moment with as you never know which one will be your last.

Your "third true love" will come at just the right time.  He'll be there to pull you through the hard times. He'll make you want to grow up, and he'll be the one you grow old with.  At first, life will seem so hard and unfair. You'll struggle together to make ends meet. You'll question his devotion and love for years to come. You'll fight and make up, fight and break-up, but in the end he'll be the one.  He'll be the one that will surprise you when you least expect it. You'll be the one he calls first.  Both of you will do wrong, but you'll also both do right.  At the end of the day you'll know each other inside and out. He'll be the father of your children, the third love of your life. You'll know the saying in true...good things come in threes. 
He'll save you in more ways than one...and he'll rub it in your face each day to come!  He'll be the shoulder you cry on, the one who makes you laugh, he'll be the one who understands you and really has your back.

So, dear Wendy, don't let the rest of the boys bug you...in the end you'll find the one that will make you say "I do"...

Wendy