The Facts of Life...

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We are quickly approaching the teenage years and eye-rolls have become the main way of communication in this house. His life is "horrible" and "unfair" and basically, unless I give him everything he wants, he is a complete basketcase.  I can do nothing right, I am mean, I pick on him, I never listen to him...yada, yada, yada.

I've given him the "you don't know how good you have it" speech a million times.  I've tried to use movies like "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" to prove my point.  He sees the kids in our neighbourhood with the screaming alcoholic parents, he's had friends who's parents are addicted to drugs. One of his closest friends has moved more times than I can count.  Most of his friends live in a single-parent home. 

He has both parents at home, neither one of us have drug/alcohol addictions, he has a nice home, gets driven anywhere he wants, has loads of clothes, and books, and video games. But of course, that's not enough. 

I've been-there-done-that as a teenager, and I'm trying to have patience as it's part of growing up.  Not all of us went through psycho-hormone-rage teenage years, but I certainly did and I know that's it's not necessarily all his fault. Besides the uncontrolled rage in your body, it's new hormones, and new feelings, and new stresses (which always felt like a lot in grade 7, but if I only knew then...)

I ground him, then give in (only a little). Like he's grounded for the week right now but he's in the basement playing with Grace.  But I'm still holding true to the no phone, no computer, no video games.  He spent all last evening in his room and most of the morning so I cut him a little slack and let him out for good behaviour.  Good idea? Bad idea? I have no clue.  This parenting crap is not easy.  I've learned the good and bad ways to parent from my mommy.  Bad...I give in.  Good...the love in this household is unconditional.  Bad...he gets A LOT without really earning it.  Good...he still likes me, even when he's grounded and pissed at the world. 

I really don't know how my mother is not locked up in an insane asylum or on serious medication?  She knows she did some things the wrong way, but she also knows that I'm pretty frickin' awesome now so obviously she did something right. So, I hold out hope that he will also continue to be awesome.  Overall, he's one of the best kids I could ever ask for. He's so smart, his desire to learn everything is awe-inspiring, he's funny, he's cute, he's nice and caring. OMG....he's me!!

So, in complete frustration of Jeremy's lack of appreciation, I asked him to write down ten things that were good about his life, as well as ten things that were bad. I almost choked from stopping myself from laughing out loud. He really doesn't get how good he has it.  His list is below, and while he didn't exactly follow my rules (he only listed 8), it did lead to a pretty good chat about the in-and-outs of life.

Good	Bad
Have a phone	Phone isn’t very good
Friends	I have to go straight home after school
Xbox	Don’t have much to do at home
My own room	Room is small
Don’t have to do chores	Don’t get paid
Dog/Cat	Have to take the dog out a lot
Big yard	Yard is full of rocks and should have a fence so the dog can play outside
Basement has lots of stuff	Basement is usually messy

Could it be any more ironic that the good things are also bad and the bad are also good??  Life at it's finest. And, seriously, too many rocks in your backyard??  If that's the worst of your problems then you need to keep calm and carry on.

My strict-ness has been getting better, I'm trying to rein him in before he runs too wild.  Better late than never I hope.

You take the good,

You take the bad, 

You take them both and there you have,

The facts of life.