Baby B's Birth Story

The stork has arrived once again!

Friday, the 19th of July, I got the long overdue call that Mama M's water had broken. According to the estimate date she was approximately 10 days overdue, which probably felt like 100 days to Mama M. I'm not sure there are many things worse than being overdue in the dead of summer.

Mama M & Daddy J went to the hospital to get checked out. Sure enough, the time had finally arrived and I was called to go to the hospital at 11:30pm to what was sure to be a fast labour. By this point she was already 3 cms dilated and 75% effaced (thinning of the cervix, has to be 100%). She was well on her way, and the contractions were already at 2-2 1/2 mins apart and lasting 45 seconds of more. On paper...this was huge.

M's breathing was priceless. She could write a book about proper breathing techniques for birth. Actually, J could write a book about proper coaching and breathing as well. I have never witnessed a couple as in sync as they were. It was actually very moving to see. Even at the peak of her pain, there were still hugs and kisses and sweethearts and darlings. They breathed together as one as they waltz in place during all the contractions.

Fast forward through about 5 hours of walking and swaying back and forth thru contractions...
It was early morning and the pain was getting worse. As always, there's generally a shift in the way the mother reacts as she gets closer and closer to the goal of 10cms. There was such a shift that it really seemed like she would at least be 8cms...not so. But she was at 5cms. Progress at least?!

It was now 5am on Saturday and nobody had slept since Friday morning. Patience was wearing thin and the dreaded defeat hit. This was going to be a long labour. Mama M decided to opt for some Fentanyl to help ease some pain. It was part of her birth plan to have a drug free delivery, but that's not always achievable with long labours. There's a reason it's called a birth plan though and not a birth contract...you are able to change your mind.

With the drugs able to relax her a bit, she drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours. By 9am, she received a 2nd dose of Fentanyl and they checked her cervix again. This time she was still stuck at 5/6...talk about defeat! By this time they decided to break her fore waters, which is the fluid that remains trapped between the baby's head and cervix. Breaking this can be useful in creating more pressure on the cervix to help it dilate, but can also be a cause for the cervix to not dilate uniformly and can cause swelling...catch 22 really. You don't know whether it's going to help or not until it's done.

Guess what...it didn't help. By noon, after another cervix check, she was still 6cms and now her cervix was swollen, plus she now had a fever.  The decision was made that she had approx. 2hrs to progress or it would be an immediate C-section. An epidural was given it hopes that it would relax her enough to let her body do the work it needed to do.

Guess what...that DID help.  By 1:30pm she was dilated to 9.5cms. I'm not a huge fan of epidurals...I'm barely a mediocre fan, but when used at the right time for the right situations they actually can do a good thing. In this case, it stopped a C-section from being performed.

By 3pm she was fully dilated, Mom & Dad took power naps to rest up for pushing. I ran downstairs and inhaled a sub for breakfast/lunch and by 4:30 she was starting to push.

This is were things get blurry....and graphic. *Readers be warned* (BABY IS FINE!)

After about 30-35 minutes of pushing, there was huge progress. The baby moved down nicely, crowned, and then the head was out. But all of a sudden then was an emergency page for "SHOULDER"...and in the blink of an eye the room was full of nurses and NICU staff. The baby's shoulder was stuck behind Mama's pubic bone. Shoulder dystocia...a very scary thing.

The baby is literally stuck in the vagina. With no room, the umbilical cord is squashed and the baby's lungs are also compressed so there is no way for the baby to get oxygen. The baby has to come out NOW.

You've never seen a pregnant lady in labour be moved so fast. Within 30 seconds, she was flipped onto her hands and knees, then back again, legs being pushed back, with a nurse pushing on her pubic bone with her whole body strength.  The position changes more than often help to shift the baby.

The doctor then placed her hand up past the baby's head, into the vagina, grabbed a hold of the baby's arm and pulled. Out popped baby...a very blue/purple, limp baby. The NICU team took the baby right away and within 30 seconds the baby started to cry the tiniest, little gurgly cry I've ever heard. In the chaos of it all, it was confirmed that the baby was indeed a GIRL! It would take a few days in the NICU to come around, but in the end she was fine.

As quickly as it happened, it was like slow motion. By far, the scariest birth I've ever witness. By the end of it, it looks like a scene out of a movie. There was literally blood every where. I fully understand why it's recommended to have an extra change of clothes/shoes with you. It was insane. It was a learning experience I will never forget.

Overall, a scary yet beautiful birth. The parents were so in sync, the most active participation by the dad, the most grateful parents to just hold their little girl. It was a blessing to be a part of, and I look forward to the next time.

Status Update

Today is my 12th wedding anniversary.

Today is bittersweet.

It's weird and awkward maneuvering through a relatively happy divorce. It's weird cause we are stuck in a friendly-divorcing-couple zone, and awkward because we are talking about things that real friends would talk about. There should be a rule book for FDC's (friendly divorcing couples). Like, for example, talking about the fact you are dating is ok.  Talking about private...uh...private matters should probably be left off the table. Lines are blurred and crossed with us on a weekly basis. Just when you think you are cool to hear about these things one wrong thing is said and it's tears and hissy fits.  Then I have to calm him down and hand him a tissue...it's gets off track so easily. ;)

So obviously, yes, we've both started dating again. Awesomesauce. There's no weirdos out there at all. Gah!! I've never dated in my life. Teenage dating was not dating...

I haven't met any serial killers yet, well at least I haven't ended up in a trunk yet. I've been on a few disaster dates and I'm quickly realizing that my anxiety of confrontation is going to have to move aside. Turns out I'm the queen of not responding and hoping they just don't contact me again. I have to learn how to say PISS OFF WEIRDO. Or ya know...thanks but no thanks.

I'm learning to deal with being a single lady. It's not like I'm worried to do the work or chip a nail, but there are definitely a lot of things that having a guy around for would make easier....lawn mowing, garbage hauling, bug killing just to name a few. But bright side...I'm working on my arm strength every single time I push that damn mower up the hill.

Life is good. I'm working on my wino hobby, and I've actually found a few good ones. Right now I'm sipping on Jost Blush, it will definitely be drank again! I'm, mostly, back on track with going to yoga...new house really threw me off AGAIN.

New house is mostly in place. I'm done with the little projects for a while cause they always end up a disaster.  Like the tiny I bubble in the gyproc I tried to fix that turned out to be multiple layers of wallpaper that I had to scrap. I'm comfortable with it as it stands so I'm taking the summer off from the stress!

Rollin' Down the Street

I took the long way home today, listening to my new fav song "Cruise"...so appropriate.  It's like I can find a theme song for all moments in my life.  Driving..."Cruise".  Sad..."Good Mother". Happy..."Happy". Sitting at home sipping wine..."Anything mixed by Norwegian Recycling". I have a song for everything...so needless to say, music rules my life and I always have it cranked in the car.

Best part of summer...cruising with the windows down, singing at the top of your lungs. Til you pull up to a red light and then clam up for fear of looking foolish. You sit there, eyes straight ahead, no movement...pretend like it's not your car blasting "Gin & Juice". Please don't make eye contact!! Please!!! I hope they didn't notice my fake microphone...

I don't know why I care what I look like to the stranger in the car next to me.  Oh right...anxiety. Ok whatever. The mission for the week is to just own it and keep bopping to the song regardless of where I am or who I'm beside. It's not like I'll ever see these people...unless it's a coworker who pulls up beside me but they already know I'm 50% crazy, 50% insane anyway so they are always judging me anyway. If you don't like hearing me sing "Like a Virgin" then just keep driving.  Unless it's a red light...then you should probably wait until it turns green.

If you chose to also accept the mission please let me know!

Password Game

Lack of blogging lately? My gawd...

Moving puts a major cramp in my quiet evenings.  It's been all caulk all the time.  Yes, that's right...I said caulk.

It actually forgot my password to this site and had to mess around with all my user name/password options to find the right one. Why can't they are least tell you if one or the other is right? I know that we are supposed to be all tech-savvy when it comes to passwords to prevent hackers, but holy crap....why can't we just have one solid user name and password for the entire internet? Is that too much to ask for?  Who owns the internet anyway and how do I get a hold of them to offer my input??

I have like a bazillion passwords. Probably close to two bazillion user names. It's simply too much. With the exception of having the cute IT guy reset my password at work, there are zero benefits to having this many. Hackers...pfft...whatever...I laugh in your face. Do you want access to my spam mail and maxed out credit cards? Go ahead and take them!  My new user name for everything is going to be "frustrated" and my password will be "sexually"....that's easy enough to remember. Did I mention I'm separated now? Gahhh...that's a totally different *R Rated* blog...

There's all my work passwords for every single different, annoying, stupid, frustrating program we use. Can't repeat a password for like 30 years so now I've just started adding numbers to the end of it. I'll be at ************2010001928 by the time I retire.

Then there's the house...computer, phone, Netflix...which is actually my mother's account so I have to remember her username/password too, internet (FB, Twitter, Instagram, Playboy...for the articles, my email, the kids emails,) and the Wi-Fi.  All of those to remember plus now Jeremy wants to start changing our Wi-Fi login name for shits and giggles. Like I don't have enough to remember...now I have remember it's "Pretty Fly for a Wi-Fi".  Nah. Nope. Moving on...



Eyes Wide Open

It's almost 2am and I have to be up at 6:30am...guess who's going to be (extra) cranky when she wakes up!! Good thing it's Friday, 14 more hours and I'll be back home again.

I have two coffees today...nothing out of the ordinary for me. I spent all night cleaning up and breaking down boxes. I should be tired. Is this what insomnia feels like? I've read, I've watched TV, I surfed FB and CNN and now I'm writing this. It has no purpose. I won't be witty and there will be no subliminal message. I probably won't even spell check it.

Ohhhh...I had Chinese food for supper. Does MSG keep you awake? Probably not.  BTW, I thought I would like Orange Chicken but I really don't.  I'm also hungry again...the dreaded Chinese food curse. But I won't eat...I know it's bad to eat this late at night. Well, maybe just a few slices of cheese. Like two...be right back.

Ok, so it's more like three...or four. Whatever. I love cheese. Shoot me.

You know what's really weird...oranges give me heartburn but lemons don't. Someone please tell me why?

Adam Levine is by far the hottest creature on the planet.



Sometimes I wonder how my son can ramble on and on all night long about the most random topics...but now I kinda see why. Maybe I'm more tired than I think.

TGIF

Did I Mention I Bought a House?!

Oh yeah...so I bought a house. I which I could say "We Bought a Zoo"....man, I love that movie!
But anyway....I bought a house!!!

See!!

Turns out buying a house is a wee bit stressful and costs A LOT of money. Who knew? Someone really should have told me the difference.  I mean we bought the house I'm in now, but that was like 8 years ago and I really think it's like giving birth, you forget about the pain the second the baby arrives....but then you get pregnant again, go into labour and you're all like OH MY FRIGGIN CRAP...why did I do this again?!?

Fees for this and fees for that, closing costs, down-payment and those dreaded lawyers. And don't even mention appointments and meetings...I haven't had three seconds to process it.

It also turns out that when you split your stuff up you end up needing to replace a lot.  Looking for donations of a couch and chair...if you have one or what to buy me one I'd gladly take it. Same goes for any dressers, bookshelves or patio furniture. I move in on the 28th, a week away, and at this rate I might be sitting on buckets for a while! If you come to visit me you might want to bring a pillow for your bum. You also might want to bring me wine...just sayin'.

The process of packing has begun, which I always love as it's de-clutter time!  I'm still on my less-is-more kick so as I pack up all the blue bags for donations it's a sigh of relief as it's less to unpack.  Do I need a thousand sweaters? Or a hundred scarves? Thanks, but no thanks. Bonus points if I can get the kids to do the same.  How many pairs of pants does one boy need?

The last few weeks have been hectic, the new few are sure to be the same. But I really am looking forward to the process of making it my new home!!

Pigeon Pose Emotions Facebook Page

For Immediate Press Release

After nearly twelve years of marriage, Todd and I would like to announce that we have decided to formally separate  For those who follow these sorts of things (thank you Facebook), we would like to dispel any possible rumors and explain that our separation is not the result of any secret love affairs, or scandals.  This decision has been made with much thought after months of marriage counselling.

We happily remain committed to raising our children is the least destructive way possible.  Therefore, we both vow to refrain from talking about the details of this situation on social media.  We feel strongly that, while a divorce is not the most pleasant thing to go through, it is a private situation that is nobody's concern but ours. It does not have to be a full on fight to the death blow out.

We both have love in our hearts for each other and will likely remain the best of friends. We still do family activities together, we plan to share holidays together and maybe even a weekly dinner or two. For anyone else going through a similar situation...it does not have to be a "bad" thing.  In the span of a month, we have completed an agreement, both financially and in regards to custody that we both find fair. No lawyers, no silent treatments and no fighting in front of the kids. We take great pride in knowing that simple things like taking the children swimming together is still something we do even though we are no longer a couple.

This is not a bad thing. This is a step forward for both of us, just in separate directions. We will both be fine. We will help each other through the rough patches and in the end it will be a good thing.

I have received plenty of guidance throughout this process from friends and family, and the words that stick firm in my head are from the Chaplain at work..."It's not the 1950's anymore, you don't have to stay married for the sake of staying married." We are still in it for better or worse, for the kids, for our families, for each other...we are just doing from different households now.

We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go”

― Hermann Hesse

Sincerely,

W & T