Work It Out

Ever wake up and think “BLAH, I hate my daily life”?  No? I hate you.
Yes? Well, now we have at least one thing in common!

I’ve always struggled with “just” being an office clerk.  I push paper all day.  Whoopy-f’ing-doodle-doo. This definitely was not how I saw my career playing out as a daydreaming teenager. I’d always wanted to be a labour and delivery nurse.  Then, BAM, teenage pregnancy side-tracked that.  

A brief run-down....I dropped out of high school, got my GED a few years later, completed a year long community college course as an Executive Assistant, spent a few years in meaningless, low paying jobs, and then finally landed a good federal government job.  I really thought I’d scored the jackpot.  THIS was a golden opportunity to bring me right thru to retirement...with a good pension as an added bonus.

So, 6 years later...while I hate to complain about a well paying, stable job, it’s dreadfully boring and leaves me feeling unfulfilled. To be completely honest, I fucking hate my job. It kills my soul to think of doing the same clerk work for another twenty years.  Drinking bleach seems more appealing.

It’s not exactly easy to climb the ladder as a clerk. Especially right now, with budget cuts, it’s nearly impossible.  I’ve managed to get myself involved in other opportunities that actually interest me but it’s very unlikely it will ever turn into a new job. I’ve volunteered to do the monthly newsletter, I’ve volunteered to do process mapping (I may regret that one), I’m on every damn committee, I take all the pictures at any work functions....basically, I’m the social butterfly girl.  It all seems fine and dandy until you start to develop the reputation of the “girl who doesn’t work”.  Apparently, “work” only counts as “work” if it sucks. Having fun and enjoying your day is frowned upon in the government sector. Well, unless you're Rob Ford...but I can't really afford crack.

Here’s where I knew my doula gig would come in handy.  I think I could handle being dreadfully bored in my day-to-day life if I knew I had the doula stuff to spice up my life from time to time. Mostly it does work.  I get to be a doula just enough that it’s satisfying without disrupting my work life or home life.  

A few months ago, the stars aligned and the yoga-love of my life, Estelle, sent me an email asking if I would be interested in doing a labour/delivery & yoga workshop with her!  Helllz yeah I in!!

We worked together to create a two hour workshop, complete with great yoga poses to use during labour and some doula tips to help the process be more enjoyable. (Yes, birth CAN be enjoyable)

I always knew I was a capable doula, it’s kind of impossible to screw it up really, but having her want to partner with me on this was the kick in the ass I needed to be more confident about it. I charged just enough money to cover my costs as I didn't like I was “worth” any more than that.  I would always tell people I was training to be a doula...it was Estelle who said, “Screw that girl, you ARE a doula”. She’s also the one who convinced me I was worth more than just covering my costs. Once again, Estelle changed my life...

The first workshop was so nerve wracking. OMG, I don’t even remember what I said or did. Would people like us? Would they learn anything?  Would it be a complete flop??

Turns out it was a complete hit! BOO-YAH! I think we both squealed a little when the workshop was over.  I could not believe I was actually getting paid to do this!!!  I finally understood what it was like to have a “job” that you love to do.  The money was just icing on the cake!

Today was the 4^th workshop. Each time we’ve had a full house, get tons of great feedback, I’ve even landed a few doula gigs because of it. It’s so much fun to do, it’s always entertaining, and even though I still get a bit of anxiety before each workshop I can finally say I have a job that I love! 

Life isn’t as easy as just quitting my day job or I would be a full time doula. Mortgage payments, bills, and two spoiled kids mean I have to keep the day job for now.  But my god, does this new “job” ever feel good for the soul...