Period. Aunt Flow. The Big Red. The Curse...
It hasn't arrived for little miss yet, but I feel like it's only a matter of time. Mine showed up in the middle of the night at the age of ten and I was TERRIFIED!!! My mama hadn't had "the talk" with me yet so I had no clue what was happening. I woke her up, and like the good mama she is she told me "it's just your period, go put in a tampon and go back to bed". This is one of the many things I get to tease my mother about. Sure, maybe I caught her of guard, I did want her from a deep sleep BUT let's face it...she didn't quite handle the situation with tact. Needless to say, she did eventually get out of bed to help me out.
I had originally meant to have the talk with little missy at the beginning of summer. The kids go stay with my mom each summer (hate the game, not the player!), so I wanted to prep her so we didn't have a repeat of my traumatic experience. I guess I was too excited about NYC because before I knew it the kids were being dropped off and I just sort of forgot about it.
Well.....by the time summer was over, little miss had some -A- cups going on. At first I was thinking maybe it's just baby-fat...but nope. Boobies. Maybe not a full A, but at least a half an A.
So I figure now it's time. Turns out this is one of many talks Todd is NOT willing to participate in. So off I went, just me and missy to talk about periods.
I should have known something was up because she has a Cheshire cat grin on her face the entire time. I asked if she knew what a period was..."Not really". So I explain...and then ask if she has any questions. She's giggling and I figure she's just embarrassed, but then she informs me that her friend already told her all about it! Well, so much for being ahead of the game. After I explain it all, I also explain that if it ever happens at school that she should just quietly whisper to her teacher or just go right to the office. If it happens at home tell me, and if I'm not home tell Dad. You ever want to see Todd turn 10 shades of red, and squirm and squeal?? Just tell him you told Grace to talk to him about her period!! Good for a laugh. We also talk about the differences between tampons and pads, and I explain to her that because she's so young if she does start any time soon that she'll be using pads. She wears boy underwear, mostly boxers, and has since she's been about two or three so I also tell her that she'll probably have to start wearing girl underwear when it starts so the pads have somewhere to stick to. OMG!!!!!! THE DRAMA!!! The child doesn't flinch as the idea of blood coming out of her woofie, but me telling her that she'll have to switch her type of undies....WELL WATCH OUT! There were instant tears in the eyes and a bit of a panicked look on her face. Ahhh, shoot...back this up, it's not supposed to be a traumatic talk (See mom!). Uhh, but I'm sure we can buy you some boys tighty-whiteys. Phew...that calmed her down! Compromise! Hopefully we don't have to deal with that for a few more years and maybe by then she'll be more than happy to wear the girl undies.
For now, I just hope and pray that they both stay young for just a little while longer, and also, now that I've posted this to the world wide web.....I hope they never read this! Imagine knowing your mommy talked about porn and periods all within a few days?!? (Another thing I learned from my mama.......nothing is off limits in this family!)
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