I haven't skated since I was in Junior High. I don't particularly like watching hockey. I am a horrible skier, even cross country is too tricky for me. I don't like to layer. I look silly in hats. I always lose my mittens...consider me a poor little kitten!! (Ok, that one needs work)
When winter comes I always wonder to myself..."Why do I live here??!". I could move to Texas, or Brazil, or Mississippi, or Florida. Why don't I move somewhere nice? Then I remember...Texas = Rattlesnakes, Brazil = Anacondas, Mississippi = Alligators, Florida = Sharks, snakes, alligators, and old people...ok, THAT's why I never moved. The worst that's going to get me in NS is a raccoon or maybe a porcupine. Every so often Jeremy decides to scare the crap out of me with a garter snake, but usually I'm behind the door and he's on the deck so that isn't so bad.
I need to find an ideal location that's not too hot, not too cold. Twenty degrees (Celsius) is plenty. It has to be crazy-snake free, garter snakes are manageable. I would like minimal spiders, and definitely not any gigantic ones. This place must have a good ratio of men-to-women (yes I'm married, but I can still look at the menu). No tsunamis. No sink holes. No dead feet washing up on shore. No war zones, and it can't be near a nuclear power plant. It must only rain at night, and I would like an orange tree nearby. Maybe a plum tree too.
I'd also prefer a place where gardens take care of themselves, and the laundry gets put on the line by magic. Groceries are delivered by little fairies, and children always get along. A place where dinner is prepared every night by the husband, and the dishes clean themselves.
But I won't be too picky...
I've been on the hunt for such a place and so far nothing.
Guess I'll just have to keep my free health care and stay put for now...
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