Week 2 - I am Who I am

When I started this blog, over a year ago, it wasn't hard for me to pick a name for it.  Pigeon Pose is the one pose that I struggle with, and adore all at the same time. The stretch feels amazing, yet hurts a little at the same time?! It's like the S&M of yoga for me...minus the whips and chains.

I have literally cried in this pose, and I know it has something to do with the tension and stress in your hips, but each and every time I burst out in tears I still get weirded out by it.  It's an emotional pose...an emotional pigeon pose...which gives me Pigeon Pose Emotions. 

I often hear yoga teachers talking about how the poses are a progression, things happen in steps, your body will eventually allow the pose. Yada-yada-yada....that doesn't make me feel better when I still can't get my hips low to the ground in the pose...especially after a year and half of going to class.  My balance still sucks at the best of times, I still can't do a full Chaturanga without collapsing, and just forget about standing splits.  I watch all the skinny-bitches do them "perfectly"...if that's possible...and I get so frustrated.  I will never be able to it right.

UNTIL TODAY BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah!! Not only did I do further in Pigeon than ever before...I ROCKED IT!
Like..."Holy crap, my legs, BOTH OF THEM, are flat on the ground!!!"
Never happened to me before EVER! I was practically doing the splits. WWHAHH!!!!!

I've spent over a year wondering when I will ever, if ever, get a pose nailed like they show on google.  Any pose!  Ok, well, besides Savasana...but that's flat on your back...I think it's hard to screw that one up.  Except for when I fall asleep, I'm pretty sure I break "the yoga rules" when I fall asleep.

I was so friggin happy that I was actually smiling in the pose...just like Estelle is always begging us to do!! Most times I fake the smile, come on...it's hard to smile when your thighs are burning, or your arms feel like they are about to fall off, but today I could stop myself from smiling in Pigeon if I tried!  There I was laying in a pool of sweat, trying to calm my heart rate down and grinning like a cracked-out idiot who just scored. I was so excited.  EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am becoming one those people...

I promise I won't let it go to my head ;-)

Seriously though...I was so proud of myself this afternoon that I have been floating on a cloud ever since. I've been told before that one day you'll just be in the pose, without even knowing it....and today was my day!

It makes me, finally, feel like a yogini.  Like I practice yoga, not just show up and hyperventilate for an hour. 

I am so happy.
I am so excited.
I am so proud.
I am a yoga bunny...