Yin yoga is definitely the type of yoga I can do at home. Some nights I find myself laying in bed in some weird position (mind out of the gutter please), trying to get all zen-like and I think to myself...."Hmm, if only Emilie was here to talk me thru all of this"....but until I can convince my yoga teacher to do house calls at bedtime it is impossible to do without Emilie. The poses are held for 3-5 minutes and without queues it's impossible to gauge the time. Fourty five seconds pass and I'm sure it's been 5 minutes.
Just thinking out loud here...maybe Moksha Yoga can come out with an audio version of yin class?! With Emilie's voice...or Samuel L. Jackson...either one is fine.
So I walk around the corner to the yoga room and am immediately overcome by the beauty of the abs that were walking towards me. My first thought...HELLO!...second thought...aw, crap...hot dude is going to yin class. WHY?!? WHY!?? Seriously? There should be a requirement for only ugly people in my yoga classes. Hmmm...thinking out loud again...maybe I could convince my yoga studio to have "Ugly Thursdays"? Must be an over-weight, gangly-toothed, wart-covered troll to attend. Then by default I'd be the hot one. And, yeah, I know the hot guy is probably looking thru me or too busy focusing on his abs anyway....plus I'm married, but that doesn't mean that I am blind to beauty.
BUT! It's Accessibilty Week of my challenge so I decided to tell myself..."SCREW THE HOT GUY!"...........oh, WAIT.....not literally. Geez...
I decided to not let the inner-me whine all class about how unfair it is that I'm distracted by hot guy's abs, and the fact that I lack abs. Whatever. I don't care!!! I'm going to be accessible to myself, and I'm going to have the best yoga class, distraction free!
I get in to class early to pick a prime spot. We line our mats up in two rows, and lay head-to-head. I'm laying there in Savasana, enjoying my ME time, and I hear the room start to fill up. I hear Emilie start talking, I'm so excited I made it to Yin! I'm all relaxed, it's time to roll over and then sit up,....and I feel a sense of pending doom lurking. Now is the moment of truth.....who will I be facing when I sit up? Yep...HOT GUY.
SERIOUSLY??
I instantly decided that I was NOT going to let this interrupt my ME time. I love yin class, and dammit I was going to enjoy it. No stress, no distractions, just me and my mat and the sound of Emilie's voice.
Our eyes meet for a split second, and then there's the awkward "where do I look"...Uggghhh...I seriously hate eye contact. Why can't we live in a culture where it's rude to make eye contact? Or maybe we could have completely dark yoga classes. Nobody would know what anyone was doing or what they looked like. That way I could pull out my wedgie whenever I wanted and not feel judged...
I decided to just keep my eyes closed and pretend he wasn't there. I actually ended up forgetting he was there, and left the class feeling so good about myself. I got to my favourite class, my body felt amaze-balls when I was done. And by the end of class, I didn't even remember why I gave a shit about hot-abs-guy to begin with.
I know that part of this week's challenge is to do the whole eye-contact thing...but I just can't, sorry. I will just over compensate with my "I" statements.
I feel...that you and your abs should wear a tshirt.
I will...close my eyes for the entire class so I do not have to make eye contact.
I won't...assume you are a brain-dead beef cake just because of your abs.
I love...yin too much to be distracted by you.
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