Top 10 for 2012

We all make them, we all break them, and then we all feel bad for the rest of the year. Yep, you know what I’m talking about…New Year’s Resolutions.  I found a website that lists the Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions. The list was very overwhelming, and too broad to accomplish.  Too much pressure! So I’ve modified it to be effortless.

With the Holidays behind us, don’t we all deserve some stress free times?

My recommended Top 10 New Year’s Resolution list:

1. Spend more time with Family & Friends:
• Lose the guilt about family time. Chances are they don’t want to spend that much time with you either!
2. Fit in Fitness:
• Walking to and from your car counts, if you are fortunate enough to work on the 2^nd floor or higher that doubles your calories burned.  Also, if you move the remote further away from you, the reach to change the channel is triple.
3. Tame the Bulge:
• Stomach fat is bad, but butt fat is ok, so when eating Christmas leftovers just use motivational speaking to will the calories to go right to your thighs. Besides, in some cultures bigger is better!
4. Quit Smoking:
• We all know smoking is bad, if you smoke put it out one or two puffs early.  I’m not a doctor, but I’m sure this will add at least a week to your life. If you don’t smoke…bonus!  This just means you have fewer resolutions to work on.
5. Enjoy Life More:
• Life should be enjoyed…enjoy paying bills, enjoy traffic, enjoy doing laundry.  This means you have a job, a car, and a house.  Some people don’t…
6. Quit Drinking:
• Pfft…water, who needs it anyway?! 
7. Get Out of Debt:
• What’s the point? The second you pay off your car you know it’s going to break!  Keep those payments low, and miss a few every once in a while…that’s a guaranteed way to keep your car running!
8. Learn Something New:
• The Norwalk virus (the virus that causes the stomach flu) can survive on an uncleaned carpet for a month or more. (#8, DONE! Check that off your list of resolution accomplishments! You’re welcome!)
9. Help Others:
• Bring me coffee, cookies, any sort of treat.  That will help me survive my day, therefore helping you complete a resolution. Win-win for both of us!
10.   Get Organized:
• When in doubt….throw it out.  With all the money you’ve saved from missing car payments you can just buy it again if necessary.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution. ~ Jay Leno