Rollin' Down the Street

I took the long way home today, listening to my new fav song "Cruise"...so appropriate.  It's like I can find a theme song for all moments in my life.  Driving..."Cruise".  Sad..."Good Mother". Happy..."Happy". Sitting at home sipping wine..."Anything mixed by Norwegian Recycling". I have a song for everything...so needless to say, music rules my life and I always have it cranked in the car.

Best part of summer...cruising with the windows down, singing at the top of your lungs. Til you pull up to a red light and then clam up for fear of looking foolish. You sit there, eyes straight ahead, no movement...pretend like it's not your car blasting "Gin & Juice". Please don't make eye contact!! Please!!! I hope they didn't notice my fake microphone...

I don't know why I care what I look like to the stranger in the car next to me.  Oh right...anxiety. Ok whatever. The mission for the week is to just own it and keep bopping to the song regardless of where I am or who I'm beside. It's not like I'll ever see these people...unless it's a coworker who pulls up beside me but they already know I'm 50% crazy, 50% insane anyway so they are always judging me anyway. If you don't like hearing me sing "Like a Virgin" then just keep driving.  Unless it's a red light...then you should probably wait until it turns green.

If you chose to also accept the mission please let me know!

Password Game

Lack of blogging lately? My gawd...

Moving puts a major cramp in my quiet evenings.  It's been all caulk all the time.  Yes, that's right...I said caulk.

It actually forgot my password to this site and had to mess around with all my user name/password options to find the right one. Why can't they are least tell you if one or the other is right? I know that we are supposed to be all tech-savvy when it comes to passwords to prevent hackers, but holy crap....why can't we just have one solid user name and password for the entire internet? Is that too much to ask for?  Who owns the internet anyway and how do I get a hold of them to offer my input??

I have like a bazillion passwords. Probably close to two bazillion user names. It's simply too much. With the exception of having the cute IT guy reset my password at work, there are zero benefits to having this many. Hackers...pfft...whatever...I laugh in your face. Do you want access to my spam mail and maxed out credit cards? Go ahead and take them!  My new user name for everything is going to be "frustrated" and my password will be "sexually"....that's easy enough to remember. Did I mention I'm separated now? Gahhh...that's a totally different *R Rated* blog...

There's all my work passwords for every single different, annoying, stupid, frustrating program we use. Can't repeat a password for like 30 years so now I've just started adding numbers to the end of it. I'll be at ************2010001928 by the time I retire.

Then there's the house...computer, phone, Netflix...which is actually my mother's account so I have to remember her username/password too, internet (FB, Twitter, Instagram, Playboy...for the articles, my email, the kids emails,) and the Wi-Fi.  All of those to remember plus now Jeremy wants to start changing our Wi-Fi login name for shits and giggles. Like I don't have enough to remember...now I have remember it's "Pretty Fly for a Wi-Fi".  Nah. Nope. Moving on...



Eyes Wide Open

It's almost 2am and I have to be up at 6:30am...guess who's going to be (extra) cranky when she wakes up!! Good thing it's Friday, 14 more hours and I'll be back home again.

I have two coffees today...nothing out of the ordinary for me. I spent all night cleaning up and breaking down boxes. I should be tired. Is this what insomnia feels like? I've read, I've watched TV, I surfed FB and CNN and now I'm writing this. It has no purpose. I won't be witty and there will be no subliminal message. I probably won't even spell check it.

Ohhhh...I had Chinese food for supper. Does MSG keep you awake? Probably not.  BTW, I thought I would like Orange Chicken but I really don't.  I'm also hungry again...the dreaded Chinese food curse. But I won't eat...I know it's bad to eat this late at night. Well, maybe just a few slices of cheese. Like two...be right back.

Ok, so it's more like three...or four. Whatever. I love cheese. Shoot me.

You know what's really weird...oranges give me heartburn but lemons don't. Someone please tell me why?

Adam Levine is by far the hottest creature on the planet.



Sometimes I wonder how my son can ramble on and on all night long about the most random topics...but now I kinda see why. Maybe I'm more tired than I think.

TGIF

Did I Mention I Bought a House?!

Oh yeah...so I bought a house. I which I could say "We Bought a Zoo"....man, I love that movie!
But anyway....I bought a house!!!

See!!

Turns out buying a house is a wee bit stressful and costs A LOT of money. Who knew? Someone really should have told me the difference.  I mean we bought the house I'm in now, but that was like 8 years ago and I really think it's like giving birth, you forget about the pain the second the baby arrives....but then you get pregnant again, go into labour and you're all like OH MY FRIGGIN CRAP...why did I do this again?!?

Fees for this and fees for that, closing costs, down-payment and those dreaded lawyers. And don't even mention appointments and meetings...I haven't had three seconds to process it.

It also turns out that when you split your stuff up you end up needing to replace a lot.  Looking for donations of a couch and chair...if you have one or what to buy me one I'd gladly take it. Same goes for any dressers, bookshelves or patio furniture. I move in on the 28th, a week away, and at this rate I might be sitting on buckets for a while! If you come to visit me you might want to bring a pillow for your bum. You also might want to bring me wine...just sayin'.

The process of packing has begun, which I always love as it's de-clutter time!  I'm still on my less-is-more kick so as I pack up all the blue bags for donations it's a sigh of relief as it's less to unpack.  Do I need a thousand sweaters? Or a hundred scarves? Thanks, but no thanks. Bonus points if I can get the kids to do the same.  How many pairs of pants does one boy need?

The last few weeks have been hectic, the new few are sure to be the same. But I really am looking forward to the process of making it my new home!!

Pigeon Pose Emotions Facebook Page

For Immediate Press Release

After nearly twelve years of marriage, Todd and I would like to announce that we have decided to formally separate  For those who follow these sorts of things (thank you Facebook), we would like to dispel any possible rumors and explain that our separation is not the result of any secret love affairs, or scandals.  This decision has been made with much thought after months of marriage counselling.

We happily remain committed to raising our children is the least destructive way possible.  Therefore, we both vow to refrain from talking about the details of this situation on social media.  We feel strongly that, while a divorce is not the most pleasant thing to go through, it is a private situation that is nobody's concern but ours. It does not have to be a full on fight to the death blow out.

We both have love in our hearts for each other and will likely remain the best of friends. We still do family activities together, we plan to share holidays together and maybe even a weekly dinner or two. For anyone else going through a similar situation...it does not have to be a "bad" thing.  In the span of a month, we have completed an agreement, both financially and in regards to custody that we both find fair. No lawyers, no silent treatments and no fighting in front of the kids. We take great pride in knowing that simple things like taking the children swimming together is still something we do even though we are no longer a couple.

This is not a bad thing. This is a step forward for both of us, just in separate directions. We will both be fine. We will help each other through the rough patches and in the end it will be a good thing.

I have received plenty of guidance throughout this process from friends and family, and the words that stick firm in my head are from the Chaplain at work..."It's not the 1950's anymore, you don't have to stay married for the sake of staying married." We are still in it for better or worse, for the kids, for our families, for each other...we are just doing from different households now.

We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go”

― Hermann Hesse

Sincerely,

W & T

Girl on Fire

Two yoga classes in two days after being away from it for a looonnnggg time. Can you say OUCH? 

It's not so much painful as just a constant awareness of all the muscles in my body at once.  Like all the normal muscles are saying "hi there, nice to see you again", and all the weird little muscles you never think about are more like "YO' BITCH, HERE I AM...BAM".

My body feels like it's got little sparks of energy flowing thru it. Almost like a engine, and all it's little pistons and spark plugs or whatever.  You know what I mean...I'm feeling the burn. Everywhere....

                                                      (not my real breasts or buttocks...)

I leave the class with a complete body stone, probably wouldn't pass a sobriety test...no sofficer, drunk I'm not, I's swears I meants to poke myself in the eye. My body feels heavy and light all at the same time.  I feel so content. I get the munchies. I drift off into la-la-land.  It's all good. I am in my bliss. My happy place. Plus I get a workout, which is probably why I'm walking a little slower and why it hurts when I laugh (hi there, teeny-tiny ab muscles...I can feel you!).  Win-win.

I really felt like I'd never left.  It's been months without consistent yoga. I've dabbled in a few youtube classes. I'm suffered thru some P90X yoga...NOT fun.  I've had my fair share of pigeon poses before bed but it's definitely not the same. The moment my head hit the mat and I felt the warm air rush over me I knew I was back in heaven. 

It may take a while before I'm really back in my zone of falling asleep and crying but I'm sure it will come. 

40 Questions

My new favorite app....StumbleUpon!

In my new found desire for less crappy TV in my life, I've turned to reading a bit more than usual and have stumbled upon *ha!* a few fun websites.

I found a link today, where it asks 40 questions, some deep, some not so much.  But as I was reading them I was like WOW, some of these I'd really have to think about...so why not try to write it out!

1. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? I'd probably say go out with friends.  It's not always easy for me to pull my mental self together. I've been making the effort, and so far so good.

2. What's been on your mind most lately?  The future and what to do with it.

3. Right now, at this moment, what do you want most? Drugs...I'm fighting the flu. Also, just to be happy and content.

4. In order of importance how would you rank: happiness, money, love, health, fame?  Easy...happiness, love, health, money, fame.

5. What would best describe the way you've spent the last month of your life? Soul searching

6. What is the #1 motivator in your life right now?  My children and what's best for them in the long run.

7. In one sentence, who are you?  Sweet monkey...that's a hard one.  Here goes...I am a fun, loving, good mom, who struggles with MY wants versus everyone else.

8. What do you want to known for? My ability to see thru clothing, and maybe my humor?

9. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss most?  About my city? Not much. About my life? My best friend. Y'all can fight over who that actually is!

10. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?  We will have moved to a better place for our little family to thrive.

11. Who makes you feel good about yourself?  YOU do!  *GAG*  Just kidding.  Seriously, it's you.

12. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend? Crazy, fun, loyal

13. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?  Blogging more, furthering my education, and becoming an acrobat.

14. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? A father figure...a preacher teacher, anything I have in mind...oh wait...I have the love of my life AKA Poppy, my grandfather...but a legit dad in my life would have been nice and still bothers me as an adult.

15. What stands between you and what you want?  Armed guards.

16. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?  Cry or sing really loudly while I drive.

17. When did you first realize life is short?  Uhm...my first 31 years have actually seemed pretty long. I'll get back to you on that.

18. What do you need to spend more time doing.  YOGA! And drinking wine, and eating, mostly bacon, I don't get nearly enough bacon in my life.  Plus sleeping, and general exercise.  A walk wouldn't kill me now and then.  Or would it?!

19.  What issues do you continually refuse to confront?  My weight. My daddy issues. My phobias. My constant need for approval. My...wait, this list was supposed to be fun?  Excuse me while I go cry in a corner...

20. What's something a lot of people do that you disagree with? Ride the welfare system. Drag their kids into fights. Vote Republican. Drink & Drive.

21. What's a common misconception people have about you?  I don't think most people realize how easily my feelings get hurt, how personally I take things, and how often I wish I could punch people in the throat because of it.

22. What's something no one can ever take away from you?  My memories...unless of course we are invaded my aliens and they probe me or something.

23. What is something that you would hate to live without for a day?  Oxygen.  That would suck.

24. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most? My grandparent's cottage and my old house.

25. What memory from this past year makes you smile the most?  My trip to Vancouver with the crazy fools from work. Is it SPICY?!?

26. What's the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?  Finances. More money, more problems. No money...still as many problems.

27. If not now, then when?  September 21st, 2021

28. What have you done that you are truly proud of?  Raised two decent kids, who haven't burned down the house, or been arrested. Yet...

29. What's something new you recently learned about yourself? I am more patient than I thought I could ever be.

30. What do you want to remember forever? To just breathe.

31. What could society do without?  Twitter, guns, and Snooki, and Snooki-like people.  She's NOT a role model folks!!

32. What is one thing, right now, that you are totally unsure of? My future...and math.

33. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?  Wendy for Prime Minister!!! She's change the country...one laid-off politician at a time!

34. What's something you said you'd never do, but have since done? Be like my mother...LOL.

35. What's something you changed your mind about when you grew older? Sour candies

36. What didn't last forever, but was still worth your while? The last bouquet of flowers I bought myself.

37. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing what would it be?  I answered that last year....If I Would Have Known

38. If you knew you were dying in 60 seconds, what would your last words be? You're my favorite.

39. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?  Yeah, probably.  Pfft.

40. What questions do you often ask yourself?  What am I doing with my life? And, where's the damn remote?!?

Now...what are your answers?

40 Questions Link